Every parent wants to give their children the best education.  However, the behavioural education (children’s unconscious imitation of the behaviour and action of their parents) they are getting from the parents is the very first and most important education the children would get. The behavioural and action education affects the children much more than what the parents tell them to do.

One day near Easter when I was shopping in a supermarket in Europe, I saw a Mum holding a little baby with another 4 or 5 year-old child beside them. When I was paying for my stuff, I saw this kid stealing a chocolate Easter egg. Her Mum saw this and shouted out loudly: “Bastard! Do not steal! Shame on you! ” The kid put down the egg. After a while, she continued stealing and her Mum shouted again at her. I was thinking: “Does this little kid know what shame is? Does she know what stealing is? How did she get to know the meaning of the word “steal”? Why didn’t her Mum tell her: “If you want it, I will buy it for you?” While I was thinking and watching, this Mum grabbed an Easter egg after she paid the money for her shopping.

I couldn’t stop thinking:

1. The Mum teaches her child by her own behaviour and action.
2. The Mum teaches to lie.
3. The Mum teaches the child not to care about “shame” by shouting in a public place.
4. The Mum teaches the child to pretend.
5. Although the little baby that Mum was holding could not speak yet, what he saw might have a great impact on him.

I could not imagine what this baby would be like in the future or how he would be affected by what he saw and heard.

There is a saying: “As you sow, so will you reap.”

One day, I got a phone call from a friend’s son. He studies at Monash University in Melbourne. He said, “I cannot stand all this anymore, I feel like I want to die.” I asked “Why?” He answered, “I have just broken up with my girlfriend; also I failed one subject, so I have to do a supplementary exam.  I am running out of money, and my Mum said she’s not going to send me more money because I spent too much. She called from overseas a few times a day forcing me to write down all the spending items and how did I spend the money. She would only send me money if I list all the items in detail. If I cannot, she would not send me money anymore. I feel so depressed and desperate.” Actually, this friend of mine, she spend lots of money on unnecessary things herself. She buys things no matter if it is useable or not. After sending her son to university overseas, with the expensive tuition fees, her son called back and asked for money every now and then because he spent the money too quick. Only when her son failed his subjects, she started thinking of ways to limit her son’s spending in order to punish him. Whose fault is bigger? What will be the result of the punishment – Depression? Self harm?

What to do:

1. Behavioural and action education is better than oral teaching.
2. Early education is better than late education.
3. Judge yourself before criticizing other people.
4. “Save” people is better than “save” money.
5. Deal with things rationally and sensibly rather than being emotional.

Parents should:

1. Behaviour and action are stronger than what they say.
2. Give behavioural and action education to the children as well as teaching them to distinguish right from wrong.
3. Setting a good example by the parents should be first. Like the sun gives us unlimited warmth, it enables the growth of all living things and gives us power! It doesn’t say anything, but it has infinite power.
4. Educate a child as early as possible and the early education received by the child will affect all his or her life.

The above mentioned true stories are convincing examples.

Prevention and wisdom are the two principles of Traditional Qi.

Written by: Angela Zhu (TCM Practitioner, Qi Gong & Tai Chi Instructor)

Translated by: Alan Huang

© Copyright Angela Zhu 2011

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